Sacred Influence: What A Man Needs From His Wife To Be The Husband She Wants by Gary Thomas

This book is an incredible resource for married women who want to see their lives and marriages transformed. It’s not a book that you will sit down in read in a couple days. It may even be a book you don’t want to read – all the more reason to read it. Gary Thomas doesn’t sugar coat his words and you may even disagree with him at times. His teaching is hard teaching, but good teaching. I recommend reading it with other Christian women who are dedicated to making their marriages what God desires – women who aren’t afraid to ask the hard questions and are willing to spend time praying for you and your marriage.

Back of Book Says:

GOD CALLS WOMEN TO INFLUENCE AND MOVE THEIR HUSBANDS IN POSITIVE WAYS.

If you’re sick of all the ways you’ve tried to bring about change in your marriage—the silent treatment, nagging, one-way discussions, or pleading—it’s time to set aside those broken methods for a Christ-based approach. This book demonstrates how women can inspire, influence, and help their husbands move in positive directions. Replacing your plan of action with God’s leads to a marital transformation where both partners are moving in sync the way that God intended.

Gary Thomas draws concepts from his bestseller Sacred Marriage and outlines practical applications you can start using today. He also shows how real-life women haven employed these methods to transform their marriages. In these pages, you’ll also find a fresh perspective to help you understand your husband: the view of the marriage relationship through a man’s eyes. Thomas gives you insider information on how men think, feel, and can truly be motivated.

I’ve put off sharing about this book for quite a while and I took almost a year to read it. Why? Because I don’t have it down yet. I’m not living the sacred influence life the author described. I try, but I fail. BUT I’m not giving up. Marriage isn’t easy and anyone who tells you it is lying to you. Marriage requires commitment even in the hard times, no especially in the hard times. I hope and pray you will join me in this journey to becoming the wife that God desires.

For more information on this book and others that will challenge you, check out Gary’s website. I contacted Gary and requested discussion questions and he emailed them to me.

Some quotes from the book:

Before you get married is the time to make a character-based judgment (“Do I really want to live with this man’s wounds?”). Once the ceremony has ended, God challenges you to maintain an attitude of concern and nurture instead of one of resentment and frustration.

Regardless of how anybody else acts, we are still accountable before God for our response.

Your husband may be wrong, and he may be expressing himself in an improper way, but that alone doesn’t make you right.

In a mature marriage, romance is maintained only through hard work, deliberate choices, and concrete actions. You can't force feelings, but you can choose to act so that feelings usually follow. If we act like we're in love, we'll keep falling in love.

I believe women still feel most fulfilled (and will be most rewarded) by loving and being loved and by exercising faith, growing in godliness, and sharing this life in intimate union.